1. |
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"Like the whole idea is that, yes, religions do give you a pathway to experiencing these mystical states. The issue with them is that they pre-load you with an explanation for these experiences. And the goal of Agnostic Mysticism is to give people a space to have these experiences and then work through the meaning it has for them." - Stéphane Beaudin
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2. |
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Do you ever put yourself in a good mood?
Once in a blue moon
Rest of the time it’s the outside world that affects how you view you
Oh you counting up views on YouTube
Oh you counting on friends to boost you
Oh you spreading your views in the internet
Hating on the next man putting in work
The reactions amuse you
But the laws of attraction’ll bruise you
The algorithm’s such a fickle mistress
In one second there millions the next you’re invisible
Think what ten years'll do to you
But it’s nothing new, from my point of view
They’ll depend on you, if you’re dependable
If you depend on them, you’re reprehensible
This is not a pool, it’s the ocean floor
Help out other fish, that’s what schools are for
Community, what that mean to you?
What that means to me, is real human beings
Therefore social media, is some in between
Don’t trust it, learn to trust yourself
You can’t love somebody if you loathe yourself
You can’t loan a buddy if you owe yourself
You’ll avoid the hurdles if you know yourself
Toute ma vie quelque-chose de plus
Cherche le bonheur par ici
Si c'est le cas comme on me l'a dit
Comme un bateau dans la nuit
Toute ma vie je cherche quelque-chose de plus
On m'a dit que le bonheur me cherche aussi
Si c'est le cas, on se croise
Comme des bateaux dans la nuit
I used to self-negate, self-abase,
Talk over others give myself a raise
Overshadow others get myself the rays
Always undervalued yet I begged for praise
Lying to myself I really felt okay
Til the campus gardener turned and said
"Why are you sad?
You act happy but you’re sad deep inside"
That was profound to say
To a young teen trying to keep the clouds at bay
But I didn’t know it, 'cos I didn’t show it
Now I’m grateful for this, enigmatic moment
That made me realize I was in a clown’s parade
Miles away, from what I am today
Although I’ve only climbed the bottom of the mountain range
I still self negate, self abase
Talk over others give myself a raise
But now from time to time I check myself and stop and wait
Listen to my heart beat pound away
Listen to my breath like the sound of waves
Get out of my head like a house ablaze
Channel my emotions when I rant and rage
Let go and accept all the doubt and pain
I can decompress, do massage and stretch
No such thing as debt, when love's the pay
Toute ma vie je cherche quelque chose de plus
On ma dit que le bonheur me cherche aussi
Si c’est l’cas, on s’croise comme des bateaux dans la nuit
Je mène un combat comme spartacus
Suis-je un figurant ou protagoniste
Dans tous les cas, je cherche à m’améliorer à tout prix
I don’t want to give up now
I believe there’s more for me to
Do but I can’t figure out
What choice I should pick so I can’t
Move my ass and get up out
Of this place I’m stuck with all this doubt
But I know, gotta keep going…
One day this will all work itself out
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3. |
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I used to be mad at the world because it lied to me
Then I grew tired and bored, as if it died to me
Till I learned to listen and grow, when it tried to speak
Yeh the metaphor is the world that lives inside of me
I think it's right, to be angry at society
And the senseless injustice and outright deceit
Who do we blame, education or police?
The legal or electoral game of speech
Politicians or the media that frame beliefs
So-called religions that are obsolete
Or the misguided dogmas scientists repeat
Oh yeah, the biggest fraud is false certainty
Pretend you got it on lock but you lost the key
You can't prevent the onslaught of morosity
So instead you become part of the monstrosity
Your comfort's cost is more atrocities
Cos it's a dog eat dog type universe
Where the dog is a snake called ouroboros
And the tail that he ate is the cause of all this
So how does one escape from the paradoxes?
Think it's a process involving becoming humble
Stop imposing our laws on the young and troubled
Every one of us is lost, none of us understand
How to hear the voice of the everlasting one
Hey
And I ain't got the answers
Wait, I'm really just another rapper
And maybe,
I'll open up another chapter
That could help us evolve into a better path
But yo hey
I ain't got the answers
Wait, I'm really just another rapper
And maybe, I'll open up another chapter
That could cause us to spiral out a little longer
In the body of a cis white male
Undercurrents of a fish-like snail
At the ready like a swiss knife
With the steady motion
Of a big white whale
My solution is a squid-like tale
My appearance is a bit like kale
In the bushes I can slip and trail
Or through the wide open patches
That a ship might sail, I move
But what's the purpose of the subterfuge
Does my true nature exist or is it just illusion
Am I hiding from myself or is it just from you
Or am I like a murder mystery to look for clues
What if the system is the enemy that pushed its rules
And boundaries on an entity that must refuse
And has a choice, to adapt or to be judged and shooed,
Busting loose, at best to live as one pursued
Oh ho, I'm no better and no worse than you
See we all wear a cloak that brings distance to
Our vulnerable and oppressed inner ghost of truth
That with our own thoughts we're never any closer to
So, I guess the message is to look beyond
Not to guilt trip travel all the distance calm
And not to nitpick others for their dissonance
We're all hypocrites wishing to become one
And I ain't got the answers
Wait, I'm really just another rapper
And maybe,
I'll open up another chapter
That could help us evolve into a better path
But yo hey
I ain't got the answers
Wait, I'm really just another rapper
And maybe, I'll open up another chapter
That would cause us to spiral out a little longer
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4. |
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[Verse 1: Dr Koul]
Sound waves crash onto ears of those that can’t learn
Like candlelight flickers on irises while the world burns
If a tree falls into the forest, what does the worm want?
Did God make Evil like Tolkien created Wormtongue?
It’s a paradox, the egg before the chicken lays the basilisk
And the occult is nothing more than mysteries to a scientist
The wise ones devised a method so that they could interact
Meanwhile deny effects
Because we look for fact, we dismiss placebo
Because we try to separate matter from cerebral
The cutlery from the dinner plate, I celebrate
Every time a theory is proved wrong
Doubt confirms its place at the table
Like a fable that can never end
So drunken uncles and desperate concubines
Don’t lose their head
Knowledge we get close to
And fall in at the deeper end
“Sink or swim” is not the question
When the answer is “transcend”
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5. |
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Life comes at me from all sides, it pulls me under
But I keep my head above mudslides to fully function
At only half of my hard drive's capacity
Powered by rain shower and thunder and lightning
My batteries get recharged on the go
I'm self-sufficient alone
But travel further with tribes of like-minded people
Even when slow I'm years ahead of you rappers
Whose catalogs may be fatter but clearly lacking in soul
And yet I'm still the one to lift you up
Believe in second chances, like second-hand outfits
Just let me fix you up
Brush you down, big you up
But you're much too proud
You figured out everything on your own
Don't want to listen up
But everybody had a mentor, here are two of mine:
Michel Wintsch, Stephen Preece
You influenced me? Stand in line
Humility in my punchlines, like self-deprecation
Only fly when knowledge of self's the destination
credits
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6. |
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[Intro: Dr Koul]
Full of temptation, heart palpitating
Hard to stop racing, always the same thing
Stuck like a painting, thoughts rearranging,
Love that is wasted, all the...
[Verse 1: Dr Koul]
Whatever you do, whatever you say
They can find a way to turn against you
Don't let them get in your way
Nobody knows you like your friends do
So close as your enemies lay
You kept them there where nothing else grew
You let them grow up like a mushroom
So much room inside yourself
That’s where you hide yourself
When will you emerge from the cocoon?
Or will you hold it for emergency rooms?
Nobody knows you if you murder the truth
Gotta give it air, gotta give it light
Facing your fears doesn’t make them right
And your concerns are legitimate
But if you can’t see ‘em them how can you fight ‘em?
I could try to leave I could try to stifle
What I believe to be true and righteous
I could delay the inevitable
And at times I think I might just
But I remember that the way is long and winding
And I’m trying just to pray and find where I fit
If I leave will I stop to look behind me?
All I know is it’s a loop, I’m stuck behind me
Do you want to leave, do you want to breathe?
Do you want a real sensation?
Do you want to turn a new leaf
Or do you want to keep on waiting?
And yes you do need patience
In the operation room you keep pacing
Full of temptation, heart palpitating
Hard to stop racing, always the same thing
Stuck like a painting, thoughts rearranging,
Love that is wasted, all the frustration,
All of it tasteless, stuck like the tail-end of procrastination
All in the name of protecting the framerate
Crumpled-up flowers rolled under the freight train
The touch of the fragrance, shut down for maintenance
Scentless but ever so painless
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7. |
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[Verse 2: Dr Koul]
In a culture full of thugs and poets
Sucker punches and guns and roses
There’s supermarkets but your stomach’s groaning
You learn to count and then you can’t afford it
Stupid amounts of us are uninformed
Cops and robbers, which do you perform?
At least the cops can wear a uniform
The truly neutral is a unicorn
Don’t act like there’s no roles that you prefer
We follow rules and we lose the plot
Some dudes in jail because of smoking pot
Now private prisons own the fucking crop
And you can act holier-than-thou
But better watch your mouth
You can laugh earlier and check out a the final hour
You can do your best to put cause and effect far apart
And rank our suffering so that it’s not as stark
But the haves are less than half of the have-nots
And saying “less than half” is like saying planets are astronauts
Astronomic’s what their wealth is compared to ours
And I’m still rich compared to someone else
But we’re both poor compared to Elon Musk
And he’s probably not the richest heading off to Mars
And when they’ve plundered all they can and leave us in the dust
Maybe then we’ll figure out we needed more than some electric cars
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8. |
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Dance like combat, it’s all about positioning
Y’all are hypochondriacs, feel sick but got no illness
Cos I’m the realness, Kant touch my metaphysics
I love truth, your philosophy ain't got no feelings
Come with integrity, don't drop a molly in her drink
My seduction only has a smile as my introduction
My life's a party anybody here could be my pick
But I won’t compromise I’m leaving here with Eartha Kitt
You get my dialect not only rhyming for the sake
Of showing off my prowess but my true intention’s dire yet
I’m here to open minds of flowers that ain’t blossoming
I’m here to matchmake the pollinators with the crops I need
Now let me teach you 'bout the birds and the bees
The verbs and the dots on the eyes of the tees
The words and the thoughts that lie underneath
Still waters run deep, it’s yourself that you deceive
If you try you can seek, I mean search for the seed
The origin, the unmoved mover behind the scenes
The director, editor, script writer, and producer
You would independently create, yep, if you could do so
But no man is an island, that would just be non conducive
And you’ve got to channel ideas to become useful
Where do you think thoughts come from you big doofus?
You were taught maths in school, but still can’t "two plus"
The equation has one unknown, and that’s constant
Can’t account for infinite variables in a conflict
Best case scenario you can adapt but can’t fix
The outcome's impossible in advance to predict
I said,
I know that it's a little bit rocky
But can you trust me?
She said,
It's more than just a little bit off-key
I want something more
I said,
I know that we could really be happy
If we just let go
She said,
If I let go then I'll be lost at sea
Will you forget me?
I said, I said
You said, you said, you said
You said, let's make our worlds combine
You said, I said
I said I said, you said I said
I said you and I have a lot in common
We should get together
We could make some money
I don't really mean that
I mean we should party
I don't really mean that
I don't know, 'cause
When you mix philosophy with relationships
What you get is just a little bit complex
When you mix that love with something more
I keep wondering if it's all right
I say do mix business with pleasure
After all you have to be equally honest in both
Being with you is such a beautiful privilege
Why would I not rise to the challenge of rocking boats
Relationships, sail high seas
Of the unknown equipped only with a timepiece
We say our bit, and speak our peace
Ready to part ways if the storm don't cease
Whether we weather weather or
Weather withers our health
We will welcome whatever
And we will will ourselves well
We wonder under the heavens and hover over the earth
Wondering if what kills us makes us stronger than at first
Parched our thirst is perched on parchments we rehearsed
Vows and jumped into crowds, our hearts first
Status on a cloud that's perceptible from without
Wrestle with doubt
Drops from drought are what comes forth
Depictions of appearance are what throw us off course
The wisdom of inexperience put me on yours
I'll never be sure our meeting was of love's pure source
But I promise not to mislead you on purpose, of course
I said,
I know that it's a little bit rocky
But can you trust me?
She said,
It's more than just a little bit off-key
I want something more
I said,
I know that we could really be happy
If we just let go
She said,
If I let go then I'll be lost at sea
Will you forget me?
I said, I said
You said, you said
Let's make our worlds combine
I was rocking that
Now tell me what you
I never said that
Now tell me if you, now tell me if you
I never said that
Now tell me what you said, you said
I never said that, I said that...
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9. |
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10. |
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I don’t think you’re on an even keel
Continental breakfast, and you’re not even keen to peel
Bananas, hit you with the realest deal:
Mañana you’ll be a hyena’s meal
You’re not sick you’re hypochondrIwack
He kills you with his diagnosis
He’s fit for Flying Lotus
And slicker than a condom pack
Plus he spits like garden hoses
Got to get the doe like a stag do
Any sharper and the flow might stab you
His label is a side-hustle
Lifting heavyweights like thigh muscles
And he flips you on your shoulder
You’re tripping if you think he don’t contribute to the culture
After-school coach he puts you in the mood to polka
Tracksuit purple like the G.O.A.T from Minnesota
Except he’s repping from Geneva
Only from the underbelly up like stomach procedures
Or like tunnels under cedars
All the way from Lebanon up to where the sun is needed
And that’s just about everywhere
Patriarchs have taken all the shine like silverware
Save the spark for later like a lightbulb filament
Aim it at the raiders of the archetypal covenant
Promise-breaking politicians seem like honest citizens
Honor amongst thieves since they outlawed civilians
And this pandemic is worldwide
Open sores like Pandora’s box where the pearl hides
They boss you around like they herd swine
What’s it like getting conned for the third time?
Anyways, back to the music that the verb climbs
You thought your tune was beauty ‘til you heard mine
Merci to all my acolytes, we compete across all styles
Like blurred lines
I’m a let you finish in a second
But MF DOOM was the greatest villain ever
That’s such a random way to end it
Got to hand it to him how he paved over the entrance
But it’s painful staying focused so he strays a bit away
From any ordinary frame of reference
And he pays homage, and refrains from disrespect
Despite his tongue being in his cheek
And keeping bullets in the chamber
All due deference to common sense
Azkoul moves across the beat like self-defense
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11. |
Alienation - interlude
00:41
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"Absolutely, there's an alienation that comes from not sharing other peoples' postulates. Like when you go onto a path of trying to figure out what is, and the more you're on that path, the more you're lead to diverge from the consensus reality. There's an extremely alienating aspect to that that very few people seem to be able to deal with." - Stéphane Beaudin
credits
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12. |
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And indeed... yeah, uh,
Have you ever felt like you were at the skatepark
Standing on the edge of a half pipe
With a broken leg and a glass eye
Looking at the rest of your life as it flash by?
Have you ever tasted your own blood
'Cause you were a vampire
Stuck in a coffin under a mudslide
But with no one else you could bite
And you might die so you had to puncture your own thigh?
I been on both sides, animal rights
But I had to be right so bad got my horse high
Anti-racist, hype up my on traits
But when the cops roll by I become White
Peaceful except when I punch, right?
Anarchist, all of this is just a sham
And I won't vote... except against Trump, right?
I know that I'm dope though
Except when I'm tongue-tied
What a wonderful rope throw
But I'm on the other side
The canyon's deep, what does it divide?
Mansions, hundreds of people in mud hut
Me in the middle on a rickety bridge
That connects to a ridge with a landslide
I'm falling in and I can't hide
Let me begin to be candid
And indeed open a can's lid
Filled up with worms that are rancid
Look at me holding it over your head like a ransom
But I can't make heads nor tail of the damn song
Flip a coin for the outcome and it's either-or
Up a creek with no paddle and an oar that's a python
And my aura's a bright one,
And I mourn with the lights on
Look Death in the eye sockets
Don't test my high score
I'm not the brightest but I'm not wrong
Battle Midas with gloves off
Bow to the Almighty biting my thumb to a Man's law
But I'm not worried about Maslow
If I forget my brothers that's manslaughter
Breaking down ladders like lumberjacks
Turn it into firewood to warm us up
How else will we settle the class war?
Pass on the words of the writers who tried to warn us
Now we got tired of protest, that's why we started to riot
Believe me I don't want no violence, but it's hard
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13. |
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"Begin by questioning. By doubting. Doubting the authority of another. If you know how to read that book, which is yourself, you don't have to leave, it's in your heart and mind. And you say 'I can't read, tell me how to read!' - then you're had. So, from the beginning, from the very beginning, psychologically, in matters of the spirit: there is no authority."
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
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14. |
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I used to think rap was my therapist
Now I’m rapping about my therapist
I used to think rap was my therapist
Now I’m rapping about my therapist
I used to think rap was my therapist
Now I’m rapping about my therapist
Guess my ego could sure use a shrink
I got to get to know my id
Is that my real I.D?
That’s what my superself seems to think
Shit, another something to fix
Or to uncover like sculpture
To remove excess bits
To reveal like scripture what’s congealed within
Not to prove I’m any better, just to finally fit in
Breathe in, not air, no, we run off fumes
From another dimension where the come-up’s due
So we travel to reflect like the sun off dunes
Where Cherokees and Tuaregs are summoned to build
Before the Lawrence of Arabia stumbled on through
Before the prophets were enslaved and we were robbed and confused
Before we demonized the labia, held women in rules
Before we built our own cages and sold our own jewels
But I digress, man, this world is a mess
And even more so in my head
I’ve been trying to not act too cocky
Even though my last Act II Rocky
I’ve been trying to not mask my sadness
I’ve been trying to not laugh sarcastic
See I’ve been trying to let light fantastic
Guide a bright path and shine it
‘Cause these are dark times like caverns
And we could sure use a lamp, Aladdin
But depression out here robbing Williams
And the lesson really can be clearer
Count blessings like accountant’s mirrors
Who’s the fairest of them all?
From ferris wheels to the mall
If happiness a commodity then we could have it all
Cassandrasizing a catastrophe and then look at the fall
Wrote this verse before the outbreak
And now just polish it off
I rode here on a soundwave, let me summon it on
I hope you have a nice day, alaikum salaam
I used to think rap was my therapist,
Now I’m rapping about my therapist
Guess my ego could sure use a boost
Guess my ego could sure use a booth
Guess my ego could sure lose a tooth
Rap was my therapist
Now I’m rapping about my therapist
Guess my ego could sure use a boost
Guess my ego could sure use a booth
Guess my ego could sure use a wisdom tooth
But the dentist pulled it out
Like, I let her convince me, now I got 3 wisdom teeth
How am I supposed to be balanced with 3 wisdom teeth?
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15. |
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Yeah, mmm
OK, OK
Shh, get down, don’t get yourself seen
For my plan to work, you’re going to have to follow me
I told you in this big old church that there’s a priest
Let’s rob the whole place before he sees us
So, you go in through the front, I’ll run around the back
And if the old man wakes up you just give him a smack
You got your weapon? Good, I’ve got mine too
Now let’s meet back at the graveyard at a quarter to two
What happened? What took you so long?
Is that blood on your clothes?
You hit the priest, his head cracked,
His eyes didn’t close?
Whatever, don’t worry about it, I got half the jewels
Your bag’s empty?
Yo what the hell is wrong with you, dude?
Go back? Get an ambulance?
Stop talking crazy, I’m out of here
I made enough to migrate with my lady
Stick around if you’re an idiot
But if you know what’s good for you
You’ll grab some more cash and run away with it
Who is like God?
God
Mommy, why are we going to church?
“Shush little one, stay still, it won’t hurt”
But this silly shirt and these stupid shoes are uncomfortable
We haven’t dressed this way since granddaddy’s funeral
And here’s this man in white robes reading us quotes
His words uncertain, I think this whole thing is a joke
I just want to play outside in the sun
But daddy said if I behave then maybe he’ll give me a toy gun
So I’m staying patient as they walk us up and down the aisle
Saying Amen, then wait, then hush, then smile
At the moment the water washed, they clapped, I was baptized
But I looked at the priest and saw tears in his eyes
Time froze, I saw his pain and anguish
He and I both know, we speak the same language
No voice needed to see that we are the same:
No choice in our identity, our clothes or our name
Who is like God?
God
I’ve been a detective in these parts for the last ten years
This is the most bizarre case that I’ve ever seen here
In the big city murder was a common affair
But round these parts the worst mystery is theft or being scared
An informant told me that in the church outside the village
The priest had gone missing and the new one was a little different
He said the church’s artifacts were suspiciously gone
And that the new priest’s explanations sounded wrong
When interrogated, the so-called priest just gave in
He cried upon my shoulder for forgiveness of sin
He showed me the bones of his predecessor
Put both his arms out for handcuffs, it took barely any effort
The trial lasted twenty whole minutes, the man confessed
Guilty, judge and jury demanded the death sentence
I visited him in his cell on the day of his execution
He told me he was at peace, reading the holy scriptures
Who is like God?
God?
Who is like God, what is redemption?
When we are lost, what is religion?
What is the cost to be forgiven?
Can you hear us at all? We are your children
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Dr Koul Geneva, Switzerland
Dr Koul is an anarcho-mystic rapper of mixed heritage based in Geneva, Switzerland. His current work revolves around the concept of doubt and how that can be used as a tool for self-exploration.
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